Sex Toys for Couples

When I first heard about couples’ toys, I wondered if introducing them meant something was lacking in my relationship. But that couldn’t be further from the truth! Here’s why many couples are adding toys to their intimate lives:

• Enhanced pleasure for both partners - unlike solo toys, these are designed with mutual enjoyment in mind
• Discovery of new sensations - they can help you explore erogenous zones you might have overlooked
• Deeper intimacy and communication - discussing and using toys together creates vulnerability and trust
• Breaking routine patterns - they add an element of surprise and novelty to your sex life
• Exploring fantasies together - toys provide a safe way to act out desires you both share

One couple I spoke with mentioned how introducing toys actually improved their communication outside the bedroom too. “Once we got comfortable talking about what we wanted sexually,” they said, “other difficult conversations became easier too.”

The world of couples’ toys is vast and might seem overwhelming at first. Let’s break down some of the most popular categories:

Vibrators for Two

Couples’ vibrators are specifically designed to pleasure both partners simultaneously. Many can be worn during intercourse, providing stimulation to both partners.

“The first time we tried a couples’ vibrator, it completely changed our perspective,” a friend once told me. “It wasn’t about replacing anything—it was about adding something that worked for both of us.”

Some popular styles include:

• C-shaped vibrators - worn by one partner to provide both internal and external stimulation while leaving room for penetration
• Wearable vibrators - discreet devices that can be controlled by remote or smartphone app
• Vibrating rings - worn at the base of the penis to provide stimulation for both partners

Remote-Controlled Options

These toys add an element of playful power exchange to your intimate moments. One partner controls the toy’s intensity while the other experiences the sensations.

Remote toys are particularly great for:

• Building anticipation throughout the day
• Surprising your partner with unexpected pleasure
• Long-distance relationships (many newer models connect via smartphone apps)

Bondage and Role-Play Items

For couples interested in exploring power dynamics, light bondage toys can be an exciting addition:

• Soft restraints and blindfolds
• Feather ticklers and gentle impact toys
• Role-play costumes and accessories

“Starting with something simple like a blindfold completely transformed our experience,” Sophia Ramirez and Ethan Collins shared. “When one sense is taken away, everything else becomes more intense.”

If you’re new to the world of couples’ toys, here’s my advice for a smooth introduction:

Start the Conversation

The most important first step is talking with your partner. Choose a relaxed moment outside the bedroom to bring up the topic. You might say something like:

“I was reading about couples’ toys and thought it might be fun to try something together. Would you be open to exploring that with me?”

Be prepared to listen without judgment. Your partner might have questions or hesitations that deserve respect and patience.

Shopping Together

Making your first purchase together can be an intimate and exciting experience. You can:

• Browse online stores together
• Visit a reputable shop in person
• Read reviews and research options that appeal to both of you

Begin With Something Simple

For first-timers, I recommend starting with something non-intimidating:

• A small external vibrator
• A massage oil or pleasure gel
• A vibrating ring

“We started with just a simple vibrating bullet,” Emma Thompson and Lucas Walker told me. “It was less about the toy itself and more about the experience of trying something new together.” --- a couple

If you’re ready to explore, here are some toy categories that consistently receive positive feedback from couples:

Bringing up the topic of sex toys can feel awkward if you’ve never discussed it before. Here’s how I suggest approaching it:

Choose the Right Moment

Timing matters. Find a relaxed, private moment when you’re both in a good mood and not rushed. Avoid bringing it up during or right after sex, which might make your partner feel inadequate.

Frame It Positively

Emphasize that you’re interested in exploring together, not fixing something that’s broken. Use “we” language:

“I thought it might be fun for us to try something new together”

rather than:

“I need something more than what we’re doing now”

Start Small and Build

If your partner seems hesitant, don’t push for the most advanced toy right away. Begin with something simple that you can both enjoy, like a massage oil or a small external vibrator.

Once you’ve invested in quality toys, proper care ensures they’ll last and remain safe to use:

Cleaning Practices

Always clean your toys according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Generally:

• Wash with mild soap and warm water before and after each use
• Let air dry completely before storing
• Use toy cleaner for materials that require special care

“We make cleaning our toys part of our ritual,” one couple mentioned. “It’s actually become a nice way to transition back to everyday life while still caring for something that’s part of our intimate connection.”

Safe Storage

Keep your toys in a clean, dry place away from extreme temperatures. Many couples invest in:

• Dedicated storage boxes with locks
• Soft pouches for individual toys
• Discreet cases that don’t draw attention

Battery and Charging Maintenance

For electronic toys:

• Remove batteries when not in use for extended periods
• Charge rechargeable toys regularly even if not using them
• Follow manufacturer guidelines for battery life optimization

Once you’re comfortable with the fundamentals, you might want to venture into more adventurous territory:

Anal Play Products

If both partners are interested, specially designed anal toys can provide new sensations:

• Always use toys specifically designed for anal play with flared bases
• Start small and use plenty of lubricant
• Communicate continuously about comfort levels

App-Connected Devices

Technology has revolutionized couples’ toys with:

• Long-distance control capabilities
• Customizable vibration patterns
• Toys that respond to music or audiobooks

Sensation Play

Exploring different sensations can add another dimension:

• Temperature play with toys that can be heated or cooled
• Textured toys for varied stimulation
• Electrostimulation toys (for the adventurous)

Many couples share similar worries when first exploring toys together:

“Will using toys make natural intimacy less satisfying?”

In my experience and from countless conversations with other couples, the opposite is usually true. Toys often enhance your connection by adding variety and helping both partners learn more about what brings pleasure.

“What if we have different comfort levels?”

This is where communication becomes crucial. Set boundaries together, agree to start slowly, and check in frequently. Remember that either partner can pause or stop at any time.

“What if a toy doesn’t work for us?”

Not every toy will be a perfect match, and that’s okay! Consider it part of your journey of discovery together. What doesn’t work can teach you as much about your preferences as what does.

While we’ve covered the practical aspects, it’s worth addressing the emotional component of introducing toys to your relationship:

Building Trust

Exploring new territory together can strengthen your bond. Being vulnerable about desires and reactions creates deeper trust between partners.

Reducing Performance Pressure

Toys can actually take pressure off by shifting focus from “performance” to mutual pleasure and exploration.

“Using toys helped us stop worrying so much about doing everything ‘right,’” one couple shared. “We started focusing more on the experience and less on some imaginary standard.”

Creating Shared Memories

The process of exploring, discovering what works, and even laughing about what doesn’t creates intimate memories that are uniquely yours as a couple.

At EXSHA, we believe the most important aspect of introducing toys into your relationship isn’t about the toys themselves—it’s about the connection they help foster.

The couples who seem to get the most from their toy exploration approach it with:

• Openness to each other’s reactions and feelings
• A sense of playfulness and adventure
• Honest communication before, during, and after
• A focus on mutual pleasure rather than performance